Took a day off on Mon to give myself the gift of time to do whatever I want for my 44th bday. I finally took the time to organize and display my growing series of critically endangered animal caricature paintings in my private living-room gallery.
I’m not particularly fond of celebrating bdays, but I’m courteous enough to follow suit and offer my birthday greetings to friends whenever someone initiated the greetings in messaging groups. Likewise, when it was my turn, I was flooded with bday greetings as soon as I woke my phone that morning. Some friends didn’t remember the exact day of my bday, and I conveniently reminded them that it’s the 2019 protest anniversary. I’m grateful that friends remembered and took the time to type up the birthday greetings, especially those who privately messaged me. A fellowship brother even spontaneously treated me lunch at a restaurant where I stumbled upon my favorite sculpture to do a sketch! Another fellowship brother gave me a gift about a week ago and it turned out to be a wooden board with an “outstanding” cutout. I actually felt a bit ashamed by the gift, but didn’t tell the gift-giving friend of course. As I review my nearly 14 years of return from Canada, I felt I had been a letdown to both my family and God.
Birthdays are a good time to reflect on life. Having spent 44 years of life with much love from family, friends, and God, I couldn’t be more grateful. At the same time, I don’t have much to be proud of either. I felt like I had just wasted 44 years of time and love from others. Didn’t want to be left in a depressed state, I allotted my bday evening with nothing but a long running practice. Although it was slow, but I was proud that I pulled through a 10k run on a hot muggy evening. For a short period of time, possibly under the influence of endorphins, I felt good. The rest of the week was gloomy and rainy and didn’t allow more runs. I picked up more calligraphy work at the studio and completed another batch of hand-drawn postcards commissioned by my sister.
Another week has just passed by after my 44 years of time spent here on Earth. Can someone please put a pause on the cruel passage of time?
