Joined a fellowship’s brother’s wedding yesterday. The preparation began a few months ago when the groom-to-be asked for my help to design the ceremony rundown printout. It was the first time I saw the actual physical print yesterday morning when I was helping with the church decorations before the ceremony. It turned out better than I expected. I enjoy helping with the simple things that not many ppl notices, but at the same time I hate to see my work inevitably turned into waste after just a couple of hours of use. This small personal project did however earned me some insight for my upcoming studio work.
The full day of celebration for the newly wed gave me an opportunity to meet and catch up with many church and fellowship b&s, many of whom I haven’t seen in a few years. Since COVID began, I stopped going to fellowship but kept up with Sunday Service online. A few b&s asked whether I would return to fellowship and I had to harden my heart to say no. On top of repeating my reasoning for not returning to fellowship, I also shared with some b&s about my feeling of despair for underachieving and wasting time since returning to HK in 2009.
My feeling of despair for wasting years of time is complicated further by an unclear future. Since returning from my summer vacation, I have been asking myself time and time again whether and when I should move back to Canada. Many friends I reconnected with in Canada asked me that same question too. I wish I could give an answer with confidence, but there’s just too many uncertainties and concerns that I would rather put aside until I’m forced to make any decisions. A bad sign of procrastination, I know, sigh.
